The three women pictured below were all classmates of mine at Tulane. Together, along with about 92 other people, we studied and ultimately earned our master of social work degrees. Social workers are indeed a special breed. There aren't many professions which require treating all human beings with dignity and respect, even those who might have committed the most heinous of acts or crimes. Social workers and their profession advocate for those whom society has deemed the most lost, the most irreparable, those who cannot be redeemed, saved, or even live among those of us who "function" in society.
One of the three women in the photo below, the one in the middle, was murdered this past week in New Orleans - gunned down as she walked home from her job at an inpatient drug and alcohol rehab in a rough part of the city. Her name was Ashley Qualls, and she was my friend. In being selfless, Ashley paid the ultimate price. She gave her life.
As I sat to write my blog this week, I couldn't help but think about how senseless her death is. How senseless most death is, really. Like Forrest Gump says in the movie, 'momma said death is just a part of life - but I wish it wasn't' - or something to that effect. Indeed, death is a part of life. Yet one can't help but question the forces at work in our world which would take such a young, beautiful life from us so soon. As with Britney and countless others - it defies logic. I'm not a man of strong enough faith to trust that this is all because some greater power needed Ashley more. I can't find peace in that she's 'in a better place', as well-intending people say. I'm selfish, I suppose. I want her here, on earth. Yes; I want Ashley back. I am so happy I had the chance to know her and be her friend...
Like Ashley, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by an amazing group of people this week here in Haiti as we hosted another fabulous Britsionary group. Every group really is different - we always say that and it's always true. Personalities, motivations, histories, professions: They all play a role in how a group dynamic plays out over a week. This group was unique in that within the group we hosted friends and family of Britney, a former teacher, roommates, colleagues. It was a very personal group. When the news of Ashley's murder reached me here in Haiti, I was so very fortunate to be surrounded by people who reminded me so much of her. Selfless people who ventured in to a sometimes scary, often unpredictable, and yes, even sometimes downright dangerous place for one purpose: To help others. To make a difference in the lives of strangers, no matter how big or how small. To give of themselves and expect nothing in return. That sense of selflessness is what I see in all of my colleagues, all of our Britsionarys, and in so many other volunteers, missionaries, humanitarians, etc. That's where I find solace in a senseless death like Brit's or Ashley's - they somehow bring people together. It's the only thing that gives me comfort...
We were also very fortunate to have with us this past week Father John Madden of St. John's and Bishop Robert McManus. They arrived on Tuesday and left on Thursday, but in their short time here they offered a Catholic mass here in the chapel at Be Like Brit and again at the St. Francis of Assisi Church in Grand Goâve. Our children attended their first Catholic mass in a sign of solidarity and I took great pride in them being on their best behavior. I was also grateful to Fr. John and to Bishop McManus for offering the mass in Haiti for my friend, Ashley. I am glad the loss we all feel in Ashley's passing resonates all the way to strangers in Haiti, who all offered prayers for her and her family.
We welcomed our first 3 Long-Term Britsionarys to Haiti last week. Keely, Ashley, and Melissa are here with me and the children for three more weeks, each with great projects and activities planned to help the children in a variety of ways. Keely has in store a theater and pragmatics program. She will work with the children to teach them how to express emotions, reach into their creative minds with improv games and other vignettes. We also hope to have a small play by the end of her work! It will be great to see the children work towards developing the ability to express themselves in a new, unfamiliar way.
Ashley brings with her a soccer and wellness program which is invaluable in terms of developing so many necessary skills and strengths. Her programming includes psychosocial goals and I am excited to see how things develop! We have already had one "round" of practice, and I think this program will bring not only fun to the children, but teach them things like patience, teamwork, confidence, and provide an outlet for emotional stress and a healthy way to channel emotions and energy.
Melissa is launching a very important project: Memory books! She has planned a very exciting and participatory program where the children themselves work on compiling memories through expressive therapy in an effort to help them form a sense of self. Along with that identity development, these types of activities are a great way for me to evaluate and perhaps identify issues that may need extra attention to a child. We can't wait to see their finished products and will be sure to share photos with you when they undeniably present them with big smiles and beaming pride!
Britsionarys and visitors, friends, college students - they often ask how they can make a difference. How, in the face of so much need, can they actually affect real change. With so much corruption, with so many ineffective NGOs and policies that spend more time and money being discussed than actually being implemented, monitored and evaluated - how can they make a difference. The answer is simple: Be different. Be that voice for the voiceless. Be that hope for the hopeless. Indeed, be the change you wish to see in the world.
We hope our Britsionarys and friends have some kind of experience that might push them towards dedicating their lives to this type of work. We realize not everyone will have some profound, life-changing experience in Haiti or wherever they may venture off to in search of that which might inspire them. But for those of them who do have that experience, I only hope that they can keep that fire alive inside of them, the spirit of those like Britney, and my friend Ashley, living on through the work that they do.
We have a very busy summer ahead of us. The children are thriving. We are working on some very important and exciting new programs and will be sure to announce them on our website, too. We're currently exploring ways in which to bring neighborhood and community children in for day programming here at Be Like Brit - to offer them a nutritional meal and the chance to attend class on weekday mornings. We at Be Like Brit are not only focused on building a family within the walls of this building, but in building a community on a once desolate and decimated mountain, in a community still reeling from the destruction of the earthquake that nearly leveled every building that stood, in a country still recovering from hundreds of years of colonial rule and slavery...
Our work is important. Our work is hard. But our work matters. We don't have to try to change the world; we only have to change ourselves. The smallest of acts can change the world. We just need those selfless people to continue to step forward, ready and willing to take on the challenges. This week, I'm feeling blessed to have known one who, like Brit, was taken from us far too soon. I'm feeling blessed to have spent the past week with a group who parallel that selflessness I see in my colleagues and in other groups and volunteers. And yes, I'm feeling very lucky to consider myself a part of that.
What will you do to make the world a better place?
